I don't get me .

It's really funny how somehow we can feel remorse
When there's no reason to .
It's funny how we get dissapointed with the outcomes of things
When we clearly knew it was happening .

Or is it just me??

Yesterday exam results were released online .
My whole class passed .
Everyone was petting each other on the back for a job well done .
I did not check .
Cause I wasn't eager to know .

Why would I ?
So they score with flying colours
Everyones a bona fide einstein .
But I could care less .
I'm probably the dumbest guy in that class .
In a course that probably isn't even right for me.
And it still wouldn't matter to me .

But at the end of the day .
When I saw the letters F.A.I.L on my screen .
I was
DISSAPOINTED??

BUt the question is how could I?
I saw this coming I knew I didn't study at all .
I didn't deserve to pass .
And yet I was DISSAPOINTED??

I don't understand me..
How could I feel sad and dissapointed over something like this .
Clearly there's something wrong with me .
When my best friend found out that he passed everything today .
I was happy .
When he jumped up and down showcasing his joy .
I was happy .
But
I was jealous .

And I have no idea why I would feel that way .
Isn't it funny how I could feel like that?

I didn't sow anything to reap
So why should I feel sad now that everyone is reaping?

LIFE......

One hidden

One mind one soul
One heart a million emotions
Feel the moon hear the night
Setting my thoughts free
I roam through the night

I am a loner
I am a willow
Underneath the blanket of black
I am empty as the sky
Solemn as the moon

I am a dreamer
I am a wisher
But I am one
Who has none

I am the one screaming
Behind every smile

I am the one aching
Behind every memory

I am the one hidden
Hidden from the world
Hidden from the light of the sun
Banished to the shadows of the night
I am alone
Forever behind the mask that is my life.

-the inside

KL family

Today was an interesting day at class.Woke up half an hour before class and got to class half an hour late.Spent 7 hours studying with three different lecturers.Then came back home to some good old fashion bullshit from thene.Well enough bout that nonsense.Today I'm gonna introduce to you my family in KL.






Firstly we have Thene whom I've mentioned in a previous blog his the crazy one in the house and usually does the dumbest of things just to make things interesting.He spends most of his time making my life a living nightmare.




Next up we have Heshvin.He's the alcoholic of da house and spends most of his time dwelving in his creativity and improving the livelihood of the house.He is constantly working on a new project for his artwork.But still has some spare time to drink up and party.








Next up we have the athelete of the house.His name is Mithran.He is the angel of the house.He goes to class gets good grades.Work's out and lives a healthy lifestyle.
He doesn't go crazy much.But you shouldn't count him out yet.The guys got a naughty side amidst all that goodness





Next up we have the visitors of the house.And here are the two most frequent visitors.Moony whom I've mentioned in a previous blog and Cheryl.Now Cheryl is an interesting one.She's the bubbly girl that;s just packed with energy.She's very unpredictable.And you'll never know what she's gonna say next.





Finally we have me.The emo-Baby B loving-huffy puffy-tormented soul of the house.Words are just not enough to desribe me so I'm just gonna leave it as that.


Well that's about it for today.I'll come up with some new stuff soon.And I've promised that it wont be emo.

-Jonathan

The question

Who is this boy I see?
What is he doing?
Why is he crying on the floor?
Wasn't he always smiling?

Who is that walking out the door?
What is this pain he feels?
Why does it hurt him so bad?
Wasn't it there all along?

Who is that leaving the boy alone?
What does she want him to do?
Why can't she see he's falling apart?
Was this how things end?

Sweet angel of happiness
Why do you tease him so?
You visit him by dawn
But leave him by night?

Bitter angel of death
Can't you see his pain?
Why don't you kiss him goodbye
And lay him to rest?

He thought that life was a fairy tale
A dream when hes not sleeping.
But now he knows that fairy tales.
Are dreams meant for sleepin

-Jonathan

Why do we feel sad?

Life is a pathway with many branches.
And in whichever path you choose.
You are bound to meet an emotion called sadness.
This could be spawned from a number of ways.
The loss of someone you care dearly for.
The departure of a friend you may not see again.
Or just simply you not getting what you want out of life.

Inside each and everyone of us is a heart.
Whether our emotions and feelings have anything to do with the heart is still a mystery.
But one thing is for certain.
Whenever we feel sad or hurt.
Our heart sinks.
Its an achy feeling which is indescribable.
Somethings we can only know by ourselves.

Everyone has that feeling at some point in their lives.
Some have it less than others.
While others have it more than others.
Sometimes you might wonder where is the justice to that?
How is it fair that some people hurt more than others?
That is a truth we cannot understand.
Because how everyone one of us describes sadness is different.
What I find sad and hurtful might seem like hell to you.
What you find sad and hurtful could be hell to me
That's what makes us different our individuality.

But at the end of the day.
You do wonder.
Why do we feel sad?
Is it worth to be sad?
Why send our lives into turmoil by ingesting the poison that is sadness.
I guess if we knew how to skip that phase in life.
Life would'nt be life anymore.
Then again maybe that's what makes us human.
All our imperfections and sadness being one of them.

-Jonathan

Introduction

Well this would be the beginning of my blog and my very first post.
So I'd thought I'd introduce myself and my life to you



My name is Jonathan Lai.I am 20 by the end of this year.I'm a pretty expressive guy.
And I'm never afraid to tell you how I feel and how things are.
I have many hopes and dreams.So of which will never come true and some which I'm just not working hard enough to archieve.But then again that's how life is right.I build most of my life around my friends.Because I believe the greatest thing in the world is to have a friend.And when I say that I mean true friends.People whom are there not only for the good times but for the bad as well.

Okay enough about me Im gonna take you on a journey now to introduce to you the two people that mean the most to me.The people that have made me who I am today.






This is Mandeep aka Moony.I've known him for as long as I can remember and as far as I'm concerned he is family.He has made a huge impact on my life teaching me to live life to the fullest.Always making me try things I would normally never attempt.He is the spark of danger and excitement that has made my life a roller coaster ride time and time again.




This is Thevin aka Thene.He is nothing less than a brother to me.I went through high school and college with him and he has changed my life in more ways than one.I'm naturally a a bit of a screw up but thats why he's there , to keep me in check and not letting me go over the board with anything.


All in all I love my two bro's up there.As well as the rest of my close friends.Whom I'll show in the montage below




Well that's about it for my introduction.I'll start posting soon.On these web pages in my Journey Through Life..

-Jonathan